Speed Dating Event is Not a Speed Dating Event

November 17th, 2008 by Mr. Fanrastic

I love paradoxes:

Speed Dating Event is not a Speed Dating Event

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HP Pavilion Cons

November 16th, 2008 by Mr. Fanrastic

I was researching laptops on notebookreview.com, when I noticed this user review of the HP Pavilion dv5t:

Cons: needs cloth nearby

Why do you need a… You know what, I don’t want to know.

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X-Box 360: Red Ring of Death

November 10th, 2008 by Gus Van Bjorkan

“If you’ve got it, then you know what I’m talking about.”

Yes, it is very much like the famous “burning ring of fire” in that song. The song was about syphilis, and now your X-Box 360 has got it.

Red Ring of Death“What the REAL problem is:” (For a complete list of tools required, please see Appendix A)

The answer while seeming fairly obvious is in fact a very difficult procedure to undertake. The whole problem with your dysfunctional X-Box 360 is that there was a breakdown in the whole thought process for the construction of your particular model. X-Box360 engineers and programmers failed to realize that if they didn’t want their products to get a “red ring of death,” then they should not have built the console with a red light in the first place.

“Why Would you build a Red Light?”

Why would you build a red light? This is an unbelievable concept. Why would you build a product that you were preparing in advance to fail? You might as well build in a jack-in-the-box that pops out with a sign that says “you’re fucked.” After all, we are talking about Microsoft here.

“So how do I fix the X-Box 360 that I have now?”

For a complete list of steps for fix your “Red Ring of Death” X-360, please see Appendix B.

Appendix A:

- Complete X-360 manual
- Robertson Screw Driver
- “Super Glue”
- “J” Cloth
- Kleenex
- 8 liters of water

Appendix B:

- Buy a Playstation 3

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Simple Math

October 13th, 2008 by Mr. Fanrastic

Imagine you have $4399.75 burning a hole in your pocket, and you’ve got a hankering for some Cognac. Not just any Cognac, but the finest Cognac known to man – Remy Martin Louis XIII. You head to the liquor store, where you find it perched atop the highest shelf behind a glass door kept under lock and key. Your face pressed against the glass, eyes wide with desire, you fixate upon the ornate bottle that holds the elusive elixir that will finally quench your thirst. Your gaze wanders to the price tag. After a moment of disbelief, the cold, hard reality hits you – you are twenty cents short:

Yep, a 20¢ deposit on a $4400 bottle of booze. Le mao.

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French Bulldog Scam

October 5th, 2008 by Mr. Fanrastic

My uncle spotted this ad for a French Bulldog in the classifieds on thestar.com:

French Bulldog Ad

Curious, he sent them an email:

Is she still available? How old…? We currently have a 2 yr. old frenchie/pug and a 10 yr. old yellow lab. Where are you located? Thanks.

Here’s the first reply he received, supposedly from Darrell Tash:

You’re lucky to have mailed at this time because the puppy has just been placed on adoption by one of my customers, who went on a Missionary transfer with the West African Missionaries,to West Africa.He is giving the pup up for adoption for $400 because he cant take good care of the pup due to his busy and tight schedule at church and at his missionary work. All he wants is someone that’s homely and with a good christian home to adopt this young and lovely human best friend.” he will give the Puppy to you if you promise to take good care of the puppy. He needs a christian and caring home for his puppy because he really wants the puppy to go to a good home. If you are willing to take the puppy contact Rev.McBride as soon as possible at reverendmcbridee@yahoo.com

Regards Read more »

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September 23rd, 2008 by Mr. Fanrastic

Team Foundation Server was being particularly ornery today and barfed up this error during a merge:

Cannot undelete … because not all of the deletion is being undeleted.

Cannot undelete ... because not all of the deletion is being undeleted.

Gee, thanks for that informative error message, Microsoft. Sure made my day easier.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering what the solution is, here’s what you do: Find someone who knows TFS better than you and get them to fix it.

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Car Sale Internet Fraud

September 8th, 2008 by Rage

I have recently been looking to purchase a car, when I came across a great deal online. First I sent in an inquiry from the Kijiji website to maria28johnson@yahoo.com asking for more information about the “to good to be true” car deal she had posted. She was selling a fully loaded 2002 Honda Accord with leather in PERFECT condition for $4000. Generally these cars sell for from $7000 to $16000 depending on condition.

Please note that any language within the quotes from the e-mails of maria28johnson@yahoo.com do not reflect the views and/or opinions of myself or anyone else posting to this website.

Here is the first reply I got:

I’m Maria,let me know if you’re still interested my car is 2002 Honda Accord,never been involved in a accident, no damage, no scratch, no rust and i can say that this car is in perfect condition and you will love this car if you will decide to move forward.
The price is not negotiable $4000 firm,I sell at this price because I just finished the divorce with my husband. When the divorce has finished I own this car. Now as a women I don’t need.
I’ve got photos of the car hosted on Internet at the following link:http://s399.photobucket.com/albums/pp74/Honda-Accord_photo/

So I replied to “Maria” with the following: Read more »

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Air Show Douchebags

September 2nd, 2008 by Mr. Fanrastic

When I went to the Canadian International Air Show at Ontario place last year with my dad, they didn’t have many seats on the rooftop patio. Actually, I don’t think they had any, because everyone was standing. This makes it rather difficult to see if you’re in a wheelchair, like my dad, and are positioned anywhere but the front row.

This year they had lots of chairs, all the way to the front row. We managed to get a spot about three or four rows form the front. “Oh good,” I thought, “my dad will be able to see everything.” What I didn’t count on was the ignorance and stupidity of the numerous douchebags who would promptly forget about their seats whenever the announcer directed the audience’s attention to a new airplane.

This guy was a rather slow-looking douchebag. You can see by his size that he is quite effective at standing in the way of whatever you’re trying to look at.

A few more douchebags, demostrating their view-blocking stance.

This guy was by far the biggest douchebag of them all. He was standing right in front of my dad, and completely ignored our calls to sit down. You, sir, are an asshole. Fuck you.

Next year I’m bringing an unignorable megaphone so I can loudly point out that some of us can’t stand. Kindly sit down or GTFO.

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Free Taxi Rides to Union Station?

August 29th, 2008 by Mr. Fanrastic

In front of Toronto Union Station you can always find a row of taxis populating the taxi stand. The taxi stand is clearly identified by the sign at the bottom of the picture below. But if you look up a little, you will also find a sign that reads, “NO SOLICITING TAXI FARES”:

You’ll notice that there are no arrows on the No Soliciting sign, which means that it applies equally in both directions, including the taxi stand. So, how is this supposed to work, exactly? Does this mean free taxi rides to Union? You could get in a cab, be driven to Union Station, and then point out this sign when the cabbie asks for his fare. And then you can find yourself on the nightly news as the latest victim of cabbie rage. You can thank me later for your 15 minutes of fame.

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ATM Fail

August 27th, 2008 by Mr. Fanrastic

Continuing right along with the inadvertent Fail theme, here’s a messed up ATM that Kittynne found:

Unfortunately the screen was not responsive, so I couldn’t reprogram it to make it spit out cheeseburgers instead of cash. Yeah, my priorities are whacked, but it would be pretty funny to see the looks on people’s faces when they get cheeseburgers instead of cash.

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