Goldfish = Sexy?

I’ve noticed that Rimmel has been choosing some rather… unique models for their advertisements. Now I don’t know about you, but I think this one looks pretty freakin’ weird. Like, goldfish-with-hair weird. What the fuck is going on here?

Undertandably you may be a bit confused. I know I am. Here’s a picture of a REAL goldfish for reference.

Hard to tell the difference, isn’t it? Let’s look at the similarities:

• They both have a tiny mouth and essentially no chin;
• They both have gold sparkles around their eyes;
• They both have bulging eyes that are TRYING TO ESCAPE THEIR FACE!!!

There is one key difference though: the goldfish does not have a forehead on which you could park a Hummer.

Honestly, what is it with the British? It’s bad enough they can’t get their oral hygiene sorted out, now they’ve gone and forgotten how to point their eyes in the same direction. It must be hard keeping up appearances with the Royals.