Grow Five Inches, Thanks to Annie

April 4th, 2009 by Mr. Fanrastic

Perusing the bulletin board at my local Second Cup has once again yielded some weird shit. Here we have a posting for a professional Question Answerer who goes by the name Annie:
Ask Annie
Click the image to enlarge.

It seems Annie doesn’t do readings face-to-face, but rather prefers that you send her a cheque and some info about your birthday (along with your address of course). Smells like a recipe for potential identity theft if you ask me – but this is Ask Annie, not Ask Mr. Fanrastic. So to belay any concerns about her expertise, she presents the following testimonials for assurance:

“No wonder he kisses like a dead turtle.”

“Wow! I had no idea I was so complex!!”

“Thanks to Annie, I’ve grown five inches!”

“I floss now, thanks to Annie!”

Yeah, I know. You can thank me by sending me a cheque for $40.

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5 Responses

  1. Kittynne

    Hey, can I borrow 40 bucks from you, Mr. F?

  2. Rage

    You should send $40 real dollars along with some false info, just to see what you get.

  3. Zhar

    That’s a great idea, Rage. Don’t forget to tell us what happens.. .

  4. Mr Pickle

    I used to deal with Annie all the time but grew tired of the lies and bullshit. While I must admit that she was quite the magician, she only managed to help me grow about 3.8 inches. Dumb bitch always rubbed me the wrong way anyways…

  5. Johnny

    “My wife used to nag me all the time. Thanks to Annie, she doesn’t complain anymore. In fact, she doesn’t say much of anything at all. She lives in the ground now. Bitch.”