X-Box 360: Red Ring of Death

November 10th, 2008 by Gus Van Bjorkan

“If you’ve got it, then you know what I’m talking about.”

Yes, it is very much like the famous “burning ring of fire” in that song. The song was about syphilis, and now your X-Box 360 has got it.

Red Ring of Death“What the REAL problem is:” (For a complete list of tools required, please see Appendix A)

The answer while seeming fairly obvious is in fact a very difficult procedure to undertake. The whole problem with your dysfunctional X-Box 360 is that there was a breakdown in the whole thought process for the construction of your particular model. X-Box360 engineers and programmers failed to realize that if they didn’t want their products to get a “red ring of death,” then they should not have built the console with a red light in the first place.

“Why Would you build a Red Light?”

Why would you build a red light? This is an unbelievable concept. Why would you build a product that you were preparing in advance to fail? You might as well build in a jack-in-the-box that pops out with a sign that says “you’re fucked.” After all, we are talking about Microsoft here.

“So how do I fix the X-Box 360 that I have now?”

For a complete list of steps for fix your “Red Ring of Death” X-360, please see Appendix B.

Appendix A:

- Complete X-360 manual
- Robertson Screw Driver
- “Super Glue”
- “J” Cloth
- Kleenex
- 8 liters of water

Appendix B:

- Buy a Playstation 3

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2 Responses

  1. Mr. Fanrastic

    Red lights should be banned. I mean, seriously, think about it. If they banned red lights, not only would you never get a red ring of death, but you’d never get stuck in traffic waiting for a red light!

    Who’s with me on this? Let’s start a petition! Ban red lights!

  2. Rage

    It like the ring of fire that Johnny Cash sung about.

    Things with red lights/rings of fire!
    - Circus
    - Asshole’s
    - STD’s
    - XBOX’s
    - Traffic lights