The End of Junk Mail?

June 6th, 2008 by Johnny

Whilst haphazardly flipping through my roommate’s copy of Guitar World magazine the other day, not one, but two subscription cards fell to the floor, necessitating my picking them up (a small, but potent annoyance). I couldn’t understand it – my roommate already has a subscription to the magazine. Couldn’t they separate the copies intended for subscribers and leave them card-free? No! – the makers of the magazine still feel compelled to force even their guitar-loving subscribers to bend over twice a month for them. How rude! Upon thinking about it, I became angry and bitter. With still more reflection, I became vengeful.

So I came up with an idea. All those cards have postage-paid stamps on them. The company was “nice” enough to inform me of their product, so why not be “nice” and let them know that I’m not interested. So I grabbed a black magic marker and crossed out the “YES! Send me one year’s subscription. . .” and wrote across the name and address field “No, but thanks for asking!” then dropped it in the mail.

Then I realized this will work for ANY junk mail, not just subscription cards, just as long as it has a pre-paid stamp on it. Send all those junk letters back to the company and politely let them know “Thanks for the offer, but I’m just not interested.”

This seemed like a stroke of genius, which unsettled me quite a bit, because I’m not someone who’s usually described as a genius; bitter and angry perhaps, but that’s about it. So I did a quick search online and it turns out this is not a new idea, and others have taken it to even greater lengths. It is possible to use this tactic on ALL the crap that comes through your mail slot! All you need is a piece of junk mail with a pre-paid envelope, or one that has the stamp and is large enough to fold over into a make-shift envelope. Just take all the crap coupons and flyers that you hate getting all the time and cram them into the pre-paid envelope, then mail them back to the company that sent the postage-paid junk to you with a message that says “I’ll think about your offer. In the meantime, here are some great deals that may interest you.” You’ll be kindly informing the company that you’re not interested in their offer, but also providing them with the opportunity for great savings and alerting them to some amazing deals at other places of business, saving them far more money than the $0.52 which it costs them to have their letter returned to them! You’re helping!

EVERYBODY SHOULD DO THIS.

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