Olympic-Sized Delusion

June 4th, 2008 by Johnny

I know most of you guys have already seen this one, but for those who haven’t, its worth it.

Sometimes people invent amazing things, like the wheel, the computer, or sushi. Marc Griffin invented BulletBall. Someone else invented a show called “American Inventor” so that we could all laugh at BulletBall. The game seems terrible; it looks like a boring, simplistic idea. Notice that Marc explains that he came up with the game while drinking wine with his wife at home. I’d bet he was actually slam-dunk drunk at a divey bar, out of cash, and flicking bottle caps across a beer-soaked table with a transvestite prostitute named Kamal. How do I know this? Because its only when your life is at such a low point that one could imagine that a game like BulletBall promises a way out. But Marc Griffin is completely convinced that his game is the future. Do you agree?

I love how they cue the pattering sob piano music just as he’s laying down the “pity me” prose. While that was perhaps a strategy to get the judges to accept his game, Marc definitely screwed-up when he actually played BulletBall with the one judge. There’s probably no better BulletBall player in the world than Marc Griffin (since nobody else plays) but he didn’t have to use that moment to show-off. He goes wild on that BulletBall, slamming it past the judge with a victorious “Mah point!” Humiliating for sure…

If you are actually interested in playing this thing, have a look at Marc’s website. I highly recommend having a look at the order page, if only to hear Marc and a few others singing/rapping about BulletBall. Tell me what this lyric means though: “You lose tomorrow but you win today!” Is that because the day you get your new BulletBall table you sit down and have a few games with a buddy, only to wake-up the next day and realize that you have no compulsion to ever play the thing again, and that you just spent a big chunk of money to feed Marc’s psychosis?

And what’s the real difference between BulletBall and BulletBall Extreme? Two hundred and twenty-five bucks and a lot less dignity.

Tags: ,

3 Responses

  1. Mr. Fanrastic

    “If you’ve sold everything, what do you have now?”

    “… I have BulletBall!”

    I don’t know whether to laugh or cry… Alright, I went with laugh.

  2. Rage

    I got angry, and then I got me some bulletball. I think you should try it because it is a high caliber parlour game with no age or gender restrictions.

  3. Bob

    You know… I bought this thing but after I got it and set it up a couple of weeks ago I can’t seem to find it amidst all the other tables in my house. I guess thats ok though, because the few times I played the game let me feeling like I’d been fucked in the ass.

Leave a Comment

Please note: Comment moderation is enabled and may delay your comment. There is no need to resubmit your comment.