Kid Suck

May 29th, 2008 by Johnny

I feel like crying. What the hell is going on? What the **** is this song? How can

I found this through another site making comments about how terrible it is. Then I found comments on the Youtube page which said how great it is. Who are

Kid Rock is a

I can’t… I can’t

Brain hurting. No worky.

Let me catch my mental breath… I can only surmise that garbage like this indicates that we truly are living in a post-modern world, where everything has been done, so let’s do it again and not care. Kid Rock sodomizes the music from two songs and tugs it all off with nonsensical lyrics which fit the mold of billions of other songs already out there. This is pastiche at its most obvious and unapologetic. How many songs are there about summer, girls, and memories? And of course, the last verse is an emotional ode to the inevitable passing of time. Fucking deep. I’ve heard it a thousand times. Here’s Kid’s lyrics for the last verse:

“Now nothing seems as strange as when the leaves began to change
Or how we thought those days would never end
Sometimes I’ll hear that song and I’ll start to sing along
And think man I’d love to see that girl again”

Compare with Don Henley’s “Boys of Summer”:

“I never will forget those nights
I wonder if it was a dream
Remember how you drove me crazy?
Remember how i made you scream?

Now i don’t understand what happed to our love
Now baby gonna get you back
Gonna show you what i’m made of…”

Or Bryan Adams’ “Summer of 69″:

“And now the times are changin’
Look at everything that’s come and gone
Somethimes when I play that old six-string
I think about you wonder what went wrong”

Ah memories… summer… girls… music… If these memories are supposed to be so special, life-defining, and personal, then why does it seem that everyone remembers the same frickin’ thing? We are the machine.

I need to go and have a poo. I need a little less shit in my life right now.

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6 Responses

  1. Mr. Fanrastic

    I shat leaves today. Seriously. I ate a big salad and I shat leaves. That’s never happened to me before. I think I’m going to write a song about it. It will be better than Kid Suck’s song because, really, how many songs are there about shitting leaves? Here we go:

    Well my stomach was a hurtin’
    From somethin’ that was lurkin’,
    So I fixed myself a salad, big and green.

    When nature came a callin’
    And my poo had finished fallin’,
    I looked back and was shocked that I shat leaves.

  2. Johnny

    That’s beautiful. You’re going to have to write another one in ten years that explores the bittersweet memories of the time you pooped leaves. And it was summer. And you were younger.

    Just make sure to include a girl in there somewhere, as kinky as that will be, to round the whole thing out and BINGO! Number 1 hit.

  3. ET

    Scott Adams on his dilbert blog made fun of this kinda thing earlier: http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2008/01/write-a-hit-son.html

  4. Rage

    ET, are you stating this because Johnny is behind the times, or is it just that a like minded individual also dislikes crappy songs/lyrics.

  5. Bob

    Leave ET alone. He’s just trying to find his way man!

  6. Irene

    Just viewing this now. Hope you don’t mind a late comment. This songwriter has definitely experienced the American Dream. And Mr. Fanrastic…. your poem definitely indicates you’re getting there too! “Sweet Alabuma”! (Johnny…Mr. Fanrastic’s poem will make a #2 hit.)

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