Online Dating is Funny Sometimes

February 25th, 2008 by Kittynne

That, or I am an asshole.

Every now and then someone from a dating site msgs me and after reading their profile, I feel so bad for them that my initial gut reaction is that I should befreind them (not date them though) because they must be lonely. I make it clear that I do not wish to date them, but if they want someone to chat with I am happy to chat.

But then I end up having an msn conversation with the guy from the dating site, while I am talking to Mr. Fanrastic, and hilarity ensues.

First off, here is the guy’s profile:

_________________________

Sign Leo
Height 6′ 2″ (188 cm)
Age 32 year old Man
Profession College

About Me
PLEASE NOTE:
No one night Stands.
Not into rushing anything.
I hate drugs, so if you do any, I am not interested in you.
I still live at home, if this bothers you, move on.
This site seems to be about e-mails and such, however, I am tired of e-mailing people for a simple e-mail chat and getting: “Unread Deleted” or “Read Deleted”. So, this has made it seem as a waste of time. If you want to chat, e-mail me. I will be more then happy to answer or chat with you. If I do e-mail you, a simple response of: “Not interested” would be nice. My IM seems to work on this site, so I am for that as well. This isn’t a whinny cry for help, it just would be nice to get some @#!%*&@ common curtsy. Have we lost that people?

Now if you are still reading, please enjoy:

Well, beginning the year in college is nothing new to me. I did it last year too. I am currently taking Network Administrator.

Oh yeah, the name is [edited]. The picture is the most recent. Graduated from college October 2007 as a Web Designer.

THINGS ABOUT ME:
I am not religious because Jedi does not exist in our universe. I do not like being pushed into religion either. This happened in a relationship in the past and thus ended it. I do not care if you are religious, just keep in mind the above sentence.
I hate drinking.
I hate drunk people.
I hate smoking, don’t care if anyone else does.
I hate bars and clubs.
I love conversation.
If this was Middle Earth, I would so be hanging out with the Elves.
I hate tv except for Stargate: Atlantis and Family Guy, although I own a few tv shows on dvd.
I own a leather jacket and look like the Terminator in it. (Notice the few movie references so far. Means I love movies.)
I am going to college so I don’t have to work in retail hell anymore.
I hate drugs and needles.
I love listening to every form of music. It is my favorite hobby. My favorite groups are:
Accept
AC/DC
Coldplay
Swollen Members
Enya
Goo Goo Dolls
Cypress Hill
De La Soul
Sinead O’Conner
Haddaway
Culture Beat
La Bouche
Depeche Mode
Dido
Electronic
LFO (An electronic group, not the boy band. Many people get this confused.)
Fats Domino
Fleetwood Mac
George Micheal
Gypsy Kings
KOS
Scissor Sisters
The Eagles
Creative Writing is my second hobby. I write short novels in the fantasy and sci-fi field. Nothing has been published. It is just a hobby.

Well, enough about me.

Anyway, what I am looking for is a woman that has all the normal elements. You know, honesty, caring…yada, yada, yada. I love a woman that can laugh and has a sense of humor. I would love someone that doesn’t have skeletons in her closet. No crazy people.

I just want a person that can go to the movies, go for a drive at any moment, spur of the moment stuff. An outgoing person would be great. Even a very spirited person would be amazing. They could bring many wonderful experiences with them. Perhaps both would be in the same category…well, let’s not analyze that.

As far as kids go, I would want one. However lots of circumstances have to take place first. For one thing, rushing into a marriage because of a child isn’t good. Rushing into anything never is good. Watch the movie “The Heartbreak Kid” and you’ll see what could happen in a rushed marriage. happy

So in a nutshell, I want a woman that does not judge a book by its cover. Sees people for the goodness within them. I have a large heart and will open up to anyone. I never hold my lips if something bothers me. She will dance with me, even though I stink. She will sing in the car with me even if any of our voices stink. She will have a strong soul within her as I do. She will give me more experiences that I have yet to obtain.

Do you fit any of the above?

Anyway, that is me. Like it or leave it.

Any questions, just ask.

Happy fishing.

First Date If we both have lots of conversation online and then meet, it seems different, doesn’t it? Nothing is perfect. If that was true, we would still be in the Garden of Eden with leafs over our privates.

_________________________

Here is our conversation:


onlinedaterguy says (4:22 PM):
Hey, is there anything you like to read?

kittyn =^.^= says (4:29 PM):
asimov robot books

kittyn =^.^= says (4:29 PM):
terry brooks novels

kittyn =^.^= says (4:29 PM):
crochet books

kittyn =^.^= says (4:29 PM):
robert anton wilson

onlinedaterguy says (4:29 PM):
I am just writing a new novel. The idea, as always came to me in a dream.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:30 PM):
ah

onlinedaterguy says (4:31 PM):
I now have two stories going on right now. The other is a fantasy novel that could go on for a while. I think it will be my largest so far. I already have two chapters done on it.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:31 PM):
oh cool

onlinedaterguy says (4:32 PM):
It is sort of my Lord of the Rings type story. You know, bad guy, hero has to stop bad guy. He is reluctent to do so. That kind of thing.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:32 PM):
yeah, pretty standard storyline

onlinedaterguy says (4:33 PM):
I have always got great feedback on my stories. In high school even. I aparently have good character development.

onlinedaterguy says (4:34 PM):
Many people loved my novel called “Devious”. I thought that one was my strangest one.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:37 PM):
was it published?

onlinedaterguy says (4:37 PM):
No. Nothing published. It is just a hobby.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:37 PM):
ah ok

kittyn =^.^= says (4:38 PM):
are you good with a tourniquet?

onlinedaterguy says (4:39 PM):
Not sure what that is.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:39 PM):
google is your friend!

onlinedaterguy says (4:39 PM):
I am looking for it now.

onlinedaterguy says (4:40 PM):
A surgical tool?

onlinedaterguy says (4:40 PM):
:)

kittyn =^.^= says (4:40 PM):
if i really have to, i can manage it myself, but i find it a lot easier if there is someone there to hold it for me

kittyn =^.^= says (4:40 PM):
plus it’s safer

onlinedaterguy says (4:41 PM):
I have wrote a Star Wars trilogy. It was one book, ended up being 4.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:42 PM):
i like turtles

onlinedaterguy says (4:42 PM):
Do you own one?

kittyn =^.^= says (4:42 PM):
no but turtle heads make me giggle

onlinedaterguy says (4:42 PM):
:)

onlinedaterguy says (4:43 PM):
We own not pets. When I move out on my own, I want a dog. One that does not shed.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:43 PM):
how can a trilogy be either one book or four?

kittyn =^.^= says (4:43 PM):
all dogs shed

kittyn =^.^= says (4:43 PM):
people shed too

kittyn =^.^= says (4:43 PM):
some moreso than others

onlinedaterguy says (4:44 PM):
Call it a fouroligy then.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:44 PM):
it’s the little curlies that you have to worry about

onlinedaterguy says (4:44 PM):
I like cats, but the hair kills my allergies.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:44 PM):
if it kills your allergies, you have no need for antihistamines

kittyn =^.^= says (4:45 PM):
i would have thought that would be a good thing, no?

onlinedaterguy says (4:45 PM):
I have my mothers allergies.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:45 PM):
wth

kittyn =^.^= says (4:45 PM):
give them back

onlinedaterguy says (4:45 PM):
Yeah.

onlinedaterguy says (4:46 PM):
How’s your work day, busy?

kittyn =^.^= says (4:46 PM):
almost over, hurray

onlinedaterguy says (4:46 PM):
Cool.

onlinedaterguy says (4:46 PM):
I am listening to music, as always.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:46 PM):
you like dido

kittyn =^.^= says (4:46 PM):
i don’t think we can be friends

onlinedaterguy says (4:47 PM):
I love her. I love White Flag.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:47 PM):
i did not know it was possible to put that much suck into one person

kittyn =^.^= says (4:47 PM):
:p

onlinedaterguy says (4:47 PM):
She reminds me a bit of Enya, but more pop.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:47 PM):
you mean more suck?

kittyn =^.^= says (4:47 PM):
enya, but with teh suck?

onlinedaterguy says (4:48 PM):
I listen to everything. Listening to music is my favorite hobby.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:49 PM):
i prefer listening to white noise

onlinedaterguy says (4:50 PM):
I think right now I am in my rock phase.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:50 PM):
especially when my friend simulates it via voicechat

kittyn =^.^= says (4:50 PM):
white noise in HD

kittyn =^.^= says (4:50 PM):
i’ve never owned a pet rock

kittyn =^.^= says (4:50 PM):
i imagine they would not be very interactive

onlinedaterguy says (4:50 PM):
Right now I am listening to Accept. An old rock band.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:50 PM):
Denied!

onlinedaterguy says (4:50 PM):
I never had a pet rock either.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:51 PM):
rocks are fun to throw though

kittyn =^.^= says (4:51 PM):
especially at other people

kittyn =^.^= says (4:51 PM):
poo flinging is also fun

onlinedaterguy says (4:51 PM):
What are you a monkey?

kittyn =^.^= says (4:51 PM):
no

onlinedaterguy says (4:51 PM):
What about like, food throwing at other people?

kittyn =^.^= says (4:51 PM):
that is a waste of people

onlinedaterguy says (4:52 PM):
I wonder, if you found a pet rock in space, would it be called a space pet rock or just a rock….?

kittyn =^.^= says (4:53 PM):
so i gather they have a thriving crack business in your neighbourhood?

onlinedaterguy says (4:54 PM):
Mine is full of old people. I always felt retired when we moved here in 2001.

onlinedaterguy says (4:54 PM):
I sit in the middle of a golf course. Never play it. I wouldn’t have patience for it.

onlinedaterguy says (4:55 PM):
I heard the resturant has good food, but it is expensive.

onlinedaterguy says (4:55 PM):
Do you golf?

kittyn =^.^= says (4:55 PM):
no but i flog little children

onlinedaterguy says (4:55 PM):
:)

onlinedaterguy says (4:57 PM):
One needs a car out here in the middle of nowhere. It is at least 20 minutes before reaching civilazation in any direction up here.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:57 PM):
Flog is golf backwards! Get it? AHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! lol lol rofl rofl lmao!!

kittyn =^.^= says (4:57 PM):
I have no response to that.

onlinedaterguy says (4:57 PM):
Yes, got it.

onlinedaterguy says (4:57 PM):
I think that walking a million miles to school or work from here is illogical.

onlinedaterguy says (4:57 PM):
:)

onlinedaterguy says (4:58 PM):
Car is better.

onlinedaterguy says (4:58 PM):
Of course when it snows here, I feel that we are in the NWT.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:58 PM):
i thought people in stouffville rode horse drawn carriages

onlinedaterguy says (4:58 PM):
No. We are not that backwards. Not yet anyway.

onlinedaterguy says (4:59 PM):
That is up there in Waterloo or Kitchener.

onlinedaterguy says (4:59 PM):
Where my uncle and aunt live.

kittyn =^.^= says (4:59 PM):
they have hovercrafts in waterloo and kitchener

onlinedaterguy says (4:59 PM):
Cool. Never been on one.

onlinedaterguy says (5:00 PM):
Up there many Mena-knights roam.

onlinedaterguy says (5:00 PM):
They have the buggy and cassiages.

onlinedaterguy says (5:00 PM):
carriages

onlinedaterguy says (5:01 PM):
How was your Christmas?

onlinedaterguy says (5:01 PM):
Did you get any cool presents?

kittyn =^.^= says (5:02 PM):
random. how was your birthday?

onlinedaterguy says (5:02 PM):
My birthday was last August. As far as I remember, it wasn’t bad. Got ice cream cake.

onlinedaterguy says (5:03 PM):
What do you drive?

kittyn =^.^= says (5:04 PM):
Quick, what’s the square root of pi to the power of e?

kittyn =^.^= says (5:04 PM):
men crazy

onlinedaterguy says (5:05 PM):
I suck at math. Yes, we men are a little crazy. Especially when we get older. Our brains melt. I see it in my father for many years already.

kittyn =^.^= says (5:05 PM):
wha?

kittyn =^.^= says (5:05 PM):

onlinedaterguy says (5:03 PM):
What do you drive?

kittyn =^.^= says (5:05 PM):

kittyn =^.^= says (5:04 PM):
men crazy

kittyn =^.^= says (5:05 PM):
catch up, son

onlinedaterguy says (5:06 PM):
I get it.

kittyn =^.^= says (5:06 PM):
all aboard the failboat!

onlinedaterguy says (5:06 PM):
Too much studying.

kittyn =^.^= says (5:07 PM):
do not end up with gfnitis

onlinedaterguy says (5:08 PM):
Well, must go eat diner. Will you be on later?

kittyn =^.^= says (5:09 PM):
So what did you learn?

onlinedaterguy says (5:10 PM):
You ask random questions like I would. You thought people from Stouffville ride in carriages. You drive men crazy. A joke missed by my brain as it was full of knowledge.

onlinedaterguy says (5:10 PM):
You never owned a pet rock.

onlinedaterguy says (5:11 PM):
White noise has to be in HD.

onlinedaterguy says (5:11 PM):
Work is almost over 22 minutes ago.

onlinedaterguy says (5:11 PM):
And Google is my friend.

onlinedaterguy says (5:12 PM):
You like turtles, but don’t own one.

onlinedaterguy says (5:13 PM):
What have you learned?

kittyn =^.^= says (5:14 PM):
yes.

onlinedaterguy says (5:16 PM):
I will be back
online around 6:30ish. I hear the bellowing of parents beyond these walls.

onlinedaterguy says (5:17 PM):
Talk to you later. Notice how I didn’t use TTYL?

kittyn =^.^= says (5:21 PM):
grats!

Tags: , , ,

3 Responses

  1. Mr. Fanrastic

    This much fun is illegal in 24 countries.

  2. A geek

    This dude needs to be beaten in the balls with a fucking rubber duck until his small small manhood bleeds from the scrotum. Then he needs to have an elven fire sword shoved up his ass so his light saber gets hard. Then he can fuck his mom. Dude needs to die. He is wasting my goddamn oxygen that faggot!

  3. Irene

    Mr. geek:

    You are hillarious! Are you dating anyone at present?

Leave a Comment

Please note: Comment moderation is enabled and may delay your comment. There is no need to resubmit your comment.